Grace, Peace and Coffee

Most women and maybe some men can relate to how a really good haircut feels, especially when a trim is overdue and the ends look scruffy.  Most of us probably look forward to having those dead ends removed.  After all, it’s about style and looking good.  The split ends become obstacles to looking our best so we have the frizzy dead ends removed making our hair feel healthy and full of life.

The same is true when God cuts our dead ends and removes the obstacles that prevent us from being our best for Him.  Except we don’t always look forward to that kind of trimming, do we?  God doesn’t want us to carry dead weight that doesn’t or no longer serves His purposes.  God does want us to remove obstacles from our lives that take up room for Him to work within us and help us grow for His glory.

There have been times when I’ve harbored feelings of resentment, bitterness, and even un-forgiveness.  And like split ends, those feelings don’t look good on a person.  In John 15:1-2, Jesus tells us:  “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower.  He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit.” Pruning our lives, as a gardener prunes the vines, allows God’s nutrients to feed what is important so that we can produce more fruit.  Producing fruit allows us to receive the abundant blessings and grace God so freely gives to us.

Pruning can sometimes be unpleasant, even painful, but it’s worth it.  God’s pruning has enabled me to leave the dead, unproductive past behind and move forward into a life of grace.  I do admit, every now and then I still need a fresh cut.  How about you?  Are you in need of a trim?

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

I recently learned a new song called “Over and Over”.  Since the first time I heard this song, the words to the chorus have stuck with me in a very powerful way:  “Over and over, again and again God is faithful…”  I hear these words and I recall the many times in my life God has indeed been faithful.  Without God, I could not have made it through the challenges of being a single parent or through the grief of losing loved ones.  God has faithfully sustained me when finances were tight; He has faithfully protected me during numerous storms and other dangerous situations; He has faithfully given me confidence when others tried to make me feel insignificant; He has faithfully given me hope when all I could feel was the weight of despair.  Over and over, again and again, God has faithfully carried me through my most difficult times.

Every day we are faced with new challenges and trials; and every day God blesses us anew with His mercy and grace to help us get through whatever they may be.  These challenges and trials are opportunities for God to work within us and help us grow in our faith.

The song finishes with this line: “Jesus is with me, so I’ll claim the victory over and over again.”  As new challenges come my way – and no doubt they will – I know I can face them with the assurance that God will be with me, faithfully to the end.

“Over and Over” Words and music by Sue C. Smith and Belinda Lee Smith

The deadline for this month’s devotion came much sooner than I was ready.  Work has been busy and I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.  After several attempts at writing I found myself approaching panic phase as our deadline loomed and my writer’s block got worse.  To clear my head, I started playing the piano.  As I was playing I did indeed relax and I knew God would fill the emptiness in my mind and tell me what to write in plenty of time.  And He did. God’s message to me was to be still.

Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).  My mind has been so cluttered lately because of the illness of a family member and having to make some tough decisions on his behalf.  I’ve been second guessing myself wondering if I made the right decisions or what would happen if I did this instead of that.  I don’t like to make hasty decisions, but sometimes tough decisions need to be made quickly.  Fortunately for us, God’s timing is perfect and He will always give us the answer whether we need it in five minutes or in five days.  Be still.

No doubt many of you also need to make important decisions and, like me, sometimes struggle with the “what ifs” of that decision.  Dear friends, give the “what ifs” to God!  Whatever the decision is that you need to make, remember that you always have time to pray about it, then be still and listen for God’s answer.  Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own. (Jeremiah 33:3 MSG)

The older I get, the more I value my girlfriends and the relationships we have built over the years. Thinking back on how my various friendships began, and when certain people were brought into my life, I have no doubt God’s hand was involved. God places certain people in our paths because He knows what we need. For example, long before I married a pastor I was befriended by several women who were already in that role with years of experience as a “pastor’s wife.” God knew the journey I would be taking and sent me girlfriends who would understand, guide, and encourage me. Prior to that, I crossed paths with women of similar backgrounds; or women who were experiencing life changing events that I, too, had experienced. The bond of these relationships continues to grow and even though we may be separated by miles, or just the busyness of our lives, our hearts remain united.

Because of our demanding lives, the opportunities to spend time with my friends are few and far between. I look forward to those opportunities with a grateful heart and praise God for bringing these special ladies into my life. Girlfriends call or show up at just the right time, know just the right thing to say, laugh together until they cry…or cry together until they laugh. Girlfriends uphold each other through the toughest of times and rejoice with each other through the best of times. “A friend loves at all times…” (Prov. 17:17)

So whether it’s a weekend at the beach, lunch or shopping at the mall, or over a cup of coffee, enjoy the grace and peace the gift of a true girlfriend brings. And may God bless you with many good, hearty belly laughs that only your girlfriends will understand!

I recently received an e-mail that began: “It’s that time of year when we need to be thinking about the less fortunate.”  Really?  I can’t recall anywhere in the Bible where Jesus tells us to think about the less fortunate on an annual basis.   Granted, the Christmas season is typically the time of year when most individuals and organizations make a special effort to help people in need.  But our giving and helping should not be restricted to the holiday season.

A few years ago, our Sunday School class decided to adopt a family for Christmas.  I contacted Social Services to get the name of a family who needed help.   I was surprised when the case worker told me they didn’t have many families on the needs list.  The reason, she explained, was because everyone wants to help at Christmas, and most of the families who needed assistance had already been “adopted”.  I remember her specifically saying that she wished people would help throughout the year, and not just at Christmas.  After all, she said, people are hungry and need clothes year-round, not just at Christmastime.

I had a similar experience last year when I called a local assisted living facility about scheduling a time for our choir to present a Christmas music program for the residents.  I was told their calendar was booked through December with people who wanted to do something special at Christmas.  She mentioned that there were plenty of openings throughout the year, though.  We did offer a Christmas music program, but we did it in January, still during the Christmas season, but after all the holiday hype died down.  The welcome we received was overwhelming.  We were invited back and since then have made regular visits to this facility to sing for and with the residents.  Many of them shared with us that they don’t have many visitors and feel forgotten.  Although they enjoy the music, they are especially touched that we take time out of our busy schedules to visit with them; and, that we come throughout the year, rather than just at Christmas.

As a result of the poor economy, many have lost their jobs.  Some of our neighbors have lost their homes and are turning to shelters for housing and community soup kitchens for food.  But it’s not just food and shelter that our brothers and sisters need.  Maybe someone in your neighborhood needs help with the yard work or home repairs.  Maybe someone is recovering from surgery and needs someone to clean the house.  Maybe someone needs a ride to the grocery store.  Maybe someone is lonely and would like to have a friendly visit or some companionship.   And the list goes on.

This year, let’s remember that we are called to love and help our neighbor throughout the year – not just during the Christmas season.

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’  “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:35-40)

God’s peace can be found in so many places.  Some obvious places are the mountains, the beach, the front porch with a cup of coffee.  We go to these quiet, restful places seeking peace.  My favorite and most restful place to go when I’m feeling stressed is the beach.  The beauty and magnificence of the ocean combined with a gentle breeze and the warm sun provide the perfect environment for me to do a complete brain dump.  Once my head is clear of all the clutter I can sit for hours just taking in the beauty of God’s creation, resting and enjoying His peace.  But God’s peace doesn’t have to begin and end there.  God’s peace is all around us and can be found even in the midst of the chaos in our lives – a very unobvious place, but it’s there – if we look for it and claim it.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of our daily routines: getting the kids off to school, the busy office, telephones ringing, deadlines – that we allow the chaos to take over instead of turning to God and making His peace part of our daily routine.   In John 14:27, Jesus tells us “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  He doesn’t tell us He will only give us peace at the beach, nor does He place any other conditions on when His peace is available to us.

So, when our busyness rules our lives, we feel like we’re suffocating in despair, and a trip to the beach is nowhere in sight, how do we find God’s peace in our chaos? It’s a tough question; one I have been struggling with for some time.  The answer, so simple, came to me through a song – a favorite hymn actually, but one that doesn’t get nearly enough attention.  As I listened to this hymn so beautifully arranged and sung, the words registered with me like I was hearing them for the first time:

All to Jesus I surrender; All to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him, In His presence daily live.

 Tears filled my eyes as I began releasing the turmoil that had built up inside of me.  We find God’s peace when we surrender our chaos to Him.

 “I Surrender All” by Judson W. Van De Venter

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.  (Romans 12:3 NIV)

As a young, aspiring musician, I was never confident about what I had to offer and always tried to perform like someone else.  From experience I can tell you that trying to be like someone else just doesn’t work.  Feelings of frustration and inadequacy began to build which only fed my already low self-esteem.   It wasn’t until I began directing a praise and worship band that I realized the importance of our individual gifts and how those gifts needed to work together to make the band complete.

I have been very blessed to have Christian friends, some who are accomplished musicians, who recognize my gifts and are willing to help me develop them.  As a result of that nurturing, my self-confidence grew as did my level of skill, and I became more comfortable using my gifts according to the grace God gave me.  Of course, I’m always eager to learn new things, but only to the extent that God leads me.

In his letter to the Romans, Paul is very clear that we should “use our gifts according to the grace given to each of us” (Romans 12:6).  Simply put, God wants us to be who He made us to be, not who we try to be.  As a music worship leader I learned two very important lessons.  The first was to develop the gifts God gave me and not try to create something else within me that God didn’t put there; the second was to encourage others to do the same thing.

So often I hear others say they wish they had musical talent.  Friends, music isn’t the only gift God gives us.  It takes prayer and discernment to know what our gift – or gifts are.  Do not believe that you have nothing to offer.  And especially, do not allow yourself to feel jealous of another’s gift.  I remember years ago in middle school the girls were required to take home economics and the boys were required to take wood shop.  In home economics class I learned that cooking and sewing were not my gifts.  Likewise, my sister made a gallant attempt at learning to play a musical instrument.  She discovered that creating music was not her thing.  However, when put in front of a sewing machine, she could whip up the most beautiful clothes in no time!  Today she is an incredible cook and decorative tile artist.

God made us unique for a reason.  Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others…If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach;  if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.  (Romans 12:4-8).  God gave each of us a gift – the greatest one being the gift of His grace, which allows us to be who we are in Christ.  Just think, if God made all of us the same, what a boring world we would live in!

(Artwork by Marina Bosetti, Bosetti Art Tile: http://www.bosettiarttile.com/)

My parents raised six kids in a very small house. There were eight of us in a three bedroom;  one bath ranch in the sub-burbs of Pittsburgh. The girls shared a bedroom and the boys shared a bedroom; we waited in line for the bathroom. We were crowded, but we managed. My most memorable years were the 70’s and early 80’s.  Sunday was the family day.  The usual routine was to go to church, have spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and watch the Steelers play football.  We really were not any different from most families; we had our fun and we had our conflicts.  But there was a closeness that only an Italian-Catholic family could understand; a closeness that remains many years later.

I recently returned to Pittsburgh for a family visit.  I’ve been back annually since moving to North Carolina in 1984, but there was something very different and special about this particular visit.  My father no longer lives in the house in which we grew up.  He now lives in a much smaller house, and although I’ve been to this house many times, for some reason I was struck by the simplicity of it.  My father was never one for upgrading to fancy or even more modern styles.  As long as it worked, he was happy.  He still has many of the material things we had growing up such as his recliner, the silverware, even my mother’s favorite cast iron frying pan.  I guess some things just don’t need to change.

Perhaps it is this simplicity that contributes to the closeness of my family.  In reality, we all have very different lifestyles and our routines and priorities are far from simple.  The geographical distance between us prevents us from seeing each other very often.  Yet when we come together, our complicated lives seem to fade from focus, and we experience the closeness we had growing up.  For one week there were five of us sharing a two bedroom, one bath house – girls in one room; boys in the other.  We were crowded, but we managed.  Now, I must take a moment here to be completely honest.  We are close, but we are also a bunch of loud Italians.  Just like it was 40 years ago, there was the chaos of everyone talking at the same time, bumping into each other because there was no room for all of us in the limited space, waiting in line for the bathroom, no privacy, and no peace.  It was a good visit, perhaps one of our better ones.  During this visit I was reminded of some very special moments we had many years ago.  I am very thankful for my family.  I’m thankful for the memories and thankful that so many years later we still love and care for one another.  How wonderful it was to experience and share that kind of love and grace again.  No, some things just don’t need to change.

Be devoted to one another in love.  (Romans 12:10 NIV)

I remember when the song “Turn, Turn, Turn” by The Byrds was popular.  It was one of my favorite songs.   I would listen to it and sing it repeatedly because I liked the music and the words made perfect sense to me.  Of course, back then I had no idea the words were taken directly from scripture.  Sadly, I admit that back then I wasn’t that familiar with scripture.  Later in life when I began my faith journey, a relative and spiritual mentor told me I should study the Book of Ecclesiastes.  “It’s the book of life,” she would say.  I laugh at myself now when I recall my excitement over discovering that the words to one of my favorite songs were in the Bible!

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.  (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJ) I have come to accept and appreciate that everything does indeed have a season and a purpose.  Seasons prepare us for the next thing God has planned for us.  One common season we experience are high school years.  After four years we begin a new season either by going to college or starting a new job.  Another season may be marriage after years of being single.  For me, my greatest seasons have been during times of simply waiting – waiting to see what would be next in God’s plan for me.  God certainly has taught me much about waiting.  The best part about waiting is watching God’s plan unfold.  After a period of being still and listening for God’s direction, small but significant things begin to happen.  Then they begin to make more sense, and the reason these little things happened become clearer.  The grand finale is when God whispers to my heart and tells me it’s time – time to follow His leading, take the next step, and start a new season.

There is no set time for how long a season will last.  Some of my seasons lasted for many years; some just a few weeks.  The end of a season may be a welcomed change; sometimes it is bittersweet.  But the new season, when it comes from God and in His time, will be worth the wait.  He has made everything beautiful in its time…no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NKJ)

There is an Alzheimer’s/memory care facility in our community.  My husband and I were invited to offer a brief, weekly service.  Nothing fancy – just a short devotion and lead the residents in some of the old, familiar hymns.  I must admit, when we began this ministry, we were nervous.   We questioned whether they would understand the devotion being offered, or even care.  Would they sing?  Could they sing?  Would they even show up?  Shame on us for doubting!

It is during these little “services” that we see God’s grace really kick into action. At the mention of Jesus’ name many faces light up — because they know who Jesus is.  I hear an occasional “amen” in response to the devotion my husband shares.  Residents who usually have nothing to say sing “Amazing Grace” at the top of their lungs – and they know all the words!  Others follow the words in the songbooks we provide for them, or tap their hands or feet to the time; others just lift their heads and smile, or sway to the rhythm of the music.  One resident even sings harmony!  After the service, as we are collecting the songbooks, some who looked like they weren’t paying attention or seemed not to be involved at all will tell us how much they enjoyed those old songs.    I’ve read articles about the stimulating effect music has on patients with varying kinds of mental disabilities such as Alzheimer’s and autism.  Actually seeing it is truly amazing and a tremendous blessing.  But my greatest affirmation came as I walked down the hallway one day and a resident reminded me, “Jesus is with us.”

I’ve grown quite fond of these children of God.  They all have a story to tell, but the one consistent story they tell is of the amazing grace of Jesus.  This horrible disease may take away what and who they know, but it can’t take away who and whose they are.  They still know they belong to Jesus.  “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven…Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matt. 5:3,8 NIV)